No One Mortal

A bit of bleak, emo poetry written back in high school, that matches my currently black, bleak mood.  I struggle with my self worth and have moments that are worse than others.  I am better able to recognize and handle these moods now than I was when I wrote this, but it does not lessen the reality.  Thankfully I also have the help referred to in the second half of the poem (after 'Can one really love me?').  I rely on the thought that even if I don't see myself in a positive light at the moment, Jehovah does and with his help I can break free from the darkness.

No one Mortal

I feel a weight,
heavy cumbersome,
throttling my life away
I feel a dullness
a cloud
hanging over all I do
Grey and bleak is the sky
Through the gloom
I see my family
is breaking away,
dissolving, eaten by acid
When I look to the source
I see nothing, but wait
into the pool of stinging liquid
I see . . . ME
The cause is my tears
NO! I am a stone, a rock,
Untouchable, Unaffected, Unscathed,
Unlovable
Oh how hated is a pebble,
an irritant in your shoe
something to be stepped on, discarded
thrown away, despised
Can one really love dirt?
Can one really love me?
No, no mortal has the patience
to find that the pebble
can make tools
is sharp
can make fire
is bright
has emotions
can carry your worries
can see your pain, your acid
you erode it
wear it to nothing
No one mortal sees how the
pebble is worried
pressured, kicked
tossed about
No one mortal
can support the
pebble in the current sweeping it
Only one can make it float
spark, sharp, be seen,
very few can love a pebble
but they can see
They are not mortal
Only one can lift
the weight
One immortal