Blogapalooza 2016 - Day 10: Favorite things to sense

👃 Favorite things to smell 👃

Freshly cut lumber

Gasoline

Orange cinnamon candle
Wooded area after rain

👂Favorite things to hear👂

Rain

Train rumbles

Baby giggles
Kitty purrs

✋Favorite things to feel✋

Day old beard stubble

Paws - gerbil, cat, dog

The concussive blast of a proper firework, the Wall of Fire, or a Blue Angel rattling my chest ... so basically the airshow

Warm rain

👅Favorite things to taste👅

Sourdough bread with butter

Orange cranberry jam

Cherry cordial Kisses

Raspberry limeade 

Blogapalooza 2016 - Day 2

5 Things That Make Me Happy

1. Getting things in the mail.  My dad always seems to be getting things for his projects or the Kingdom Hall and I get just a little bit jealous.  This week I have Black Friday purchases coming in and it makes me so happy!!  Yesterday I got a snarfblat and slimy yet satisfying pin from FanFlaire.  I also love to get letters, but who writes letters anymore?  I've tried to take the initiative and have sent letters but haven't gotten any response.

2. Cosplaying popular characters.  So far I’ve gone to ComiCons as Merida and Miss Frizzle.  Both times people were very excited to see my characters, though they were different demographics.  Merida attracted small children and parents who wanted pictures for the kids they had left at home.  While not as many people stopped Miss Frizzle for pictures, almost without fail she got excited acknowledgement from anyone in the 18-30 range, with more than one squeal and excited “You were my childhood!”.  Through both of these characters I got to live out my lowkey dream of being a Disney castmember/princess and spread joy.  I also got many compliments which is also ego/self esteem boosting and awesome!  I am among my people when at ‘Cons, people who share similar passions and joys and don’t look at you funny for your excitement.  On a side note, Miss Frizzle is a hard character to pose because she always seems to be in motion.  Any ideas?

3. Being in Disneyland.  I had a lot of fun when I went with my high school choir in 2008 but I had so much more fun when I went with my sister and our fellow Mouseketeer Kelsey!  It was Deanna’s first trip, Kelsey’s millionth and an awesome combination.  The atmosphere is so happy, the food is indescribably delicious and I GOT TO MEET ARIEL first thing on the first day.  Truly the happiest place.  Even the hazmat spill on the way there added to the excitement of the trip.

4. Completing a streak on Habitica.  #notaspon  Someone on the NaNoWriMo Facebook page suggested this site/app combination as a way to establish good habits and it has really worked.  It uses the gaming method of collecting EXP and losing/gaining health.  There are also goal related quests and challenges but you have to have friends/join groups on there and I haven’t been brave enough to yet.  You set your own Daily Goals (you can decide if they happen daily, on certain days of the week, or every X number of days), Habits, and ToDo list.  I use my goals primarily to battle my depression.  I have discovered that I feel better about myself and am less likely to spiral downward if I make sure I get dressed (so far a 30 day streak), put on at least foundation (32 days), and shower regularly (22 times).  You can get eggs that grow into pets and potions to control which color they grow into.  My current pet is a desert fox.

5. Hiking Wahkeena Falls.  

It is beautiful and tough, so I feel accomplished, but not too challenging, there is a place we picnic before heading back down so we don’t push too hard.  I’ve always hiked in the winter so it has been frozen and snowy and I have loved it!  Also, because of the weather, there haven’t been very many other hikers which is wonderful.
I'd love to explore more of the Gorge, but I prefer going places with someone who has been there before and most hikers I know are very hardcore, way out of my physical abilities level.  It's a frustrating combination.

We're Messed Up Man

Picture Prompt Day 10 - The person you do the most messed up things with

     This should be self explanatory.  They have plastic cake decoration foliage in their mouths.  They are goofs and I love them and they make me laugh so hard I have to use my inhaler.  Two live an hour away now, thankfully the other lives a flight of stairs away.

My Rock

Picture Prompt Day 9 - The person who has gotten you through the most

     My Popcicle has gotten me through adolescence, adjusting to two siblings, illnesses, fights with my mother, math and physics classes, strep throat, learning to drive, spiders in my room, countless sprained ankles, the death of pets I loved as family, and every other scary moment in my life.  He has always been there for me and my mother and my siblings and I am eternally grateful, more than words can say.

Day 34 - Sorrowful piano paté

February 3 - Write about "The instrument of the sorrowful" after Stéphane Mallarme

     Loaded question that, asking this of a musician and singer.  The top three sorrowful instruments, or instruments I would and have used to convey sorrow are the violin, the flute, and the human voice.
     April 24, 2007 was the Virginia Tech massacre.  I was a junior in high school.  The next morning I attended my music composition class and tried to wrap my brain around what I was going to compose with so much sorrow in my heart on such a grey and rainy day.  I came up with a incomplete piece with two harps and a flute.  As I was composing though (just as with my No One Mortal poem) I realized that I have a hope that not many do, thus there is an uplifting transition.  (If I could figure out how to upload a copy of it I would)
     I remember being struck by the poignant, sorrowful, mourning wail sung a cappela by Rafiki when we saw it in Portland.  The human voice carries so much weight and emotion, as it should.  Some of the emotionally powerful songs are those with only one instrument, be it voice, piano, violin, or flute.

     My Top 20 Saddest Songs Playlist (in no particular order)

1. When Somebody Loved Me - Toy Story  - A song about loss and growing up and apart.  While I may find the first two movies annoying over all due to my brother's constant viewing this song has always got to me and made.
2. Cats in the Cradle - Harry Chapin  - Another song about growing up and apart.  The first of two songs on the list that, if my dad is in the room, prompts a radio change.  He and I both find it heartbreaking.  I want to weep for father and son who both missed so much of each other's life.  I can't understand families that disconnected.
3. In the Ghetto - Elvis  - The second song that prompts a radio change/song skip if my dad is in the room.  It hurts to hear about lives of such despair.  And when the video adds the Outsiders to the mix it becomes all the more poignant.
4. Learn to Be Lonely - The Phantom of the Opera 2004 (Minnie Driver)  The song speaks for itself.  In a way it reminds me of Mordred's Lullaby by Heather Dale.
5. Danse Mon Esmeralda - Notre Dame de Paris  - You don't have to speak French to feel Garou/Quasimodo's anguish over Esmeralda's death and his wish that she would arise to dance and sing as she did in life.  And if you haven't watched Notre Dame de Paris, I suggest doing so.
6. Javert's Suicide - Les Miserables 10th Anniversary  - There is no Javert like Philip Quast and no more tortured character than Javert.  As a Police Inspector who has raised himself from being raised in the prisons he has a very black and white view of the world and when Valjean shatters the code he has clung to for so long Javert's whole world is turned upside down and inside out.  "And must I now begin to doubt, who never doubted all these years?  My heart is stone and still it trembles; the world I have known is lost in shadow."  His final note never fails to give me chills!!
7. That Lonesome Road - James Taylor  - Looking back on all the paths not taken and opportunities missed.  We sang this as our senior song in high school.  I'm not sure how I made it through the performance, it is so depressing!  Also, very hard to find a good choral version, anywhere.  The song as sung by James Taylor and his studio singers is also very pretty but the choral version has more meaning to me.  "Never run feeling sorry for yourself, it doesn't save you from your troubled mind."
8. The Last Unicorn - Kenny Loggins  - This song always bothered me as a child because I don't deal well with changes and ending and finality and it continues to make me very sad.  "When the last eagle flies over the last crumbling mountain, and the last lion roars at the last dusty fountain" ... "when the last moon is cast over the last star of morning, and the future has passed without even a last, desperate warning."
9. Tristan and Isolt - Heather Dale  - "It was white as angels' raiments but when feebly he begged her, fairest Blanchmane softly said, "Tis of night."  Who can say which venom stole the soul from Tristan's body and the bells began their tolling as Isolt ran up the sand."  So close and yet so far!  The thoughts of what could have been.
10. Pity the Child - Chess (Colm Wilkinson)  - Dysfunctional families who miss out on the genius that is their child.   I hate it.
11. What'll I Do? - Irving Berlin (Frank Sinatra)  - The only solo I ever had and boy howdy did I mean every line I sung in this song.  It was my senior year and I was dreading being separated from my friends, especially the boy I was crushing on.  I invited my friends to come and honestly I am still a little bitter they didn't come, but life moves on and so must I.  This really should be sung by a female voice but Frankie sounds lovely.
12. Les Miserables Finale - 10th Anniversary and 2012 cast  - The end of Valjean's life, where he is told that all the good he has done in his life will be rewarded.  I don't agree that it is heaven where he will gain his reward but the thought of him at peace, in a place without pain, and Fantine happy, is so touching.  This song didn't truly get to me until the epic visualization in the 2012 movie and Anne Hathaway makes an amazing Fantine!  Plus it has Colm Wilkinson being the lovely old, comforting man that he is and can be.  "And remember the truth that once was spoken, to love another person is to see the face of God."  If only they had included Javert in the finale of the movie!
13. Love Never Dies Finale - Andrew Lloyd Webber - Erik and Christine reconcile and he finds out he has a son and then THIS!!!!  The child's scream twists my heart every time.  I had listened to the music and was swept away by the genius but then I watched the movie.  And sobbed those body shaking sobs that are reserved for someone you truly love for two hours.  Of course I was alone, housesitting where, the time before, I had gotten the news that we had to put down our dog Sam, and had just gotten the news that one of my friends had to put down his ferret.  I was kinda maybe emotional to begin with but I had never responded to a movie like that.  After these last two my sister says I'm not allowed to watch musicals anymore.  :)
14. If I Can't Love Her - The Beauty and the Beast Broadway   - The longing!  The despair!  Oh Adam/Beast, let me hug you!  I realize I'm not Belle but I love you like a sister!  "No pain could be deeper, no life could be cheaper."
15. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - The Phantom of the Opera  - A daughter mourning the loss of her beloved father.  How could it not get to me?  "Somtimes it seemed, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here.  Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would.  Dreaming of you'd help me to do all that you dreamed I could.  Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental, seem for you the wrong companions, you were warm and gentle."
16. You'll Never Walk Alone - Carousel  - Saying final goodbyes and hopes for the future.  But ultimately the music is so sad!
17. Your Daddy's Son - Audrey McDonald  - I didn't realize what the last line said until the last time I listened to it but it only adds to the heartwrenchingness.
18. On My Own - Les Miserables  - Poor Eponine!  I feel like her sometimes, only more, everyone is friends, why can't I join in?  "The city goes to bed and I can live inside my head.  On my own, pretending he's beside me." "In the darkness the trees are full of starlight."  "And I know it only inside my mind, I am talking to myself."  "Without me his world will go on turning, his life is full of happiness that I have never known."
19. Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway  - The bitterness and loneliness!  A longing for something better!  I love Tim Rice.  He writes awesome lyrics (Chess, Evita, Beauty and the Beast, Road to El Dorado.)
20. For Good - Wicked  - I would love to perform this song someday.  And that is all I can say.

     The playlist I made on YouTube, which you can find here, is an hour and a half long!  Some songs may dislike being in a playlist so you may have to listen to them separately, should you chose to listen at all.
     *** All lyrics belong to their composers.  I have no ownership over them. *** 

 Day 34 - The Duck or the Paté?

    "Wanting to meet an author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like his paté." ~ Margaret Atwood
    Hold the phone!  Authors don't die when they present their work or write!  You at least have a chance to meet a whole, living being!
    That being said, I can understand how awkward it might be to meet any celebrity, be they author or actor.  As a fan you will be familiar with their fictional lives and what little may be in the dust jackets or their Wikipedia page and as such have a mental image of who and what they are but in reality you know nothing about their inner person, and you are unlikely to on a first (and likely only) meeting.  Also, while you feel a connection to them, they feel none to you, have no background to go on with you.

Library of Lurve

     Today marks the third time I have been asked out at the library!  lol!  I love it.  Is it because I am more relaxed?  Or because being at the library makes me so happy?  Or does being in a library, filled with heroes, make the darling geeks (smart but shy/slightly socially awkward/science fiction loving guys) bolder?  ^_^  Such a confidence boost, even as I am scrambling to tactfully say no thank you to lunch/coffee/dinner etc.

Day 28 - Jellicles and our other furry friends

August 28 - He called you by your real name

     Coricopat's ears laid flat on his head as his tail bushed and he bared his teeth at the man.
     "He called you by you real name!" he hissed to his sister.  Tantomile simply smiled enigmatically.
     "Yes," she purred, rubbing her head along the outstretched hand.
     *He?  I am offended,* a feminine voice echoed in his head.  *I am glad to know the disguise is effective but really?*
      Cori's eyes crossed as two battling waves hit him.  On one side was his Jellicle self, screaming that this was a human and they were neither telepathic nor able to see their Jellicle forms as he and his sister were in right now.  The other was his animal/cat side telling him that this was a very powerful force that he needed to bow to and love and obey and follow.  Normally his sides dwelt in harmony, the instinctive feral cat and intelligent cerebral Jellicle making up the overall fabric of his being, never before had he felt so torn.  His instincts were trying to tell him something and he quieted his mind to hear the tiny voice.  It came across in bold, capital, bedazzled letters.  GUARDIAN!  This was the being chosen to protect animals, his rational side interpreted, and deserved the obedience of a pack/tribe leader.
     *Very good [             ].*
     Coricopat flinched.  No one ever spoke a Jellicle's Third Name except extremely close mates or siblings.  It was a part of their self-identity, of their soul and it felt like she, for he now knew it was a woman, was poking his life force with a stick.  Only Tantomile knew that name.  It was the only thing he had ever had to consciously share with her, and even then she had never spoken it aloud.
     *Pax child.* Peace brother* came simultaneous messages from his sister and the Guardian.
     *I apologize,* the Guardian sent along with waves of peaceful emotions as his sister twined herself around him.  *Jellicles are on the edge of my jurisdiction so I know less about their society that most creatures I come across.  Know that I would never speak your Third Name/Self-Name aloud or to anyone but you.*
     "Thank you."  His voice was still strangled with emotion but he did his best to convey his appreciation.  Then a thought occurred to him.  "Do you speak Jellicle?"
     The form nodded then replied in the same tongue.  "It requires rearranging my vocal chords a little and I don't think any slang or colloquial terms would translate well but I can understand."

     I wasn't sure where to go with this.  My first thought was Rae but I feel like I am harping on her and not developing her like I should.  My next thought was a Jellicle ... and I really wanted to simply explain why you don't call a Jellicle by their real name, if you should guess it, which you never will.  They don't pull a Rumpelstiltskin and dance around singing it.  I ended up combining them.  For some reason it was always Coricopat saying the prompt, never anyone else in the Tribe or any of my original Jellicle characters, though it did waver between him warning Tantomile or Cantata.  And if I could bedazzle the word Guardian in a sparkly pink-red, I would.


Day 28 - In the Company of Animals

      Ms. Abercrombie discusses various authors who have/had pets, both cats and dogs, as faithful companions, cheerleaders, and muses.  She also briefly discusses the fact that her current furry shadow is a rescue named Nelson.
      I am glad she made the decision to adopt and I think that using a rescue program is an excellent way to go about it.  We have used American Brittany Rescue to adopt our last two dogs and are so happy with our choices. 
     Our first rescue was Sammie, a young male who had been rescued from two different abusive homes (one neglect, the other worse).  When we went to meet him he was already named, well mannered, housebroken and crate trained, and while a little reserved, he got along with us all well.  He was the most nervous around my dad, which broke my father's heart, as he had grown up with Brittanies and even had one named Sam.  We decided one of his previous male owners must have kicked him when he went out the door because he either refused to go outside or was skittish if my dad was standing in/near the door way.  After he had adjusted to the family and warmed up to us all (though he claimed Mom as 'his' person, with me as beta) my dad and sister took an afternoon and slowly taught Sam that Dad wasn't going to hurt him by having Deanna lead him in and out of the house on his leash first with Dad standing next to the doorway, then with Dad petting him as he went though.  Later, from time to time, he would still feel too much pressure if one of us was in the doorway but by and large that was the only residue from his previous life.  Poor thing had terrible genetics and lost several teeth, ended up being mostly blind one eye (which led to several false alarms), and developed arthritis but he enjoyed cuddling and snuggling with everyone and was very glad to meet new people.  He had his preferred spot on the couch and if it was occupied during a party and the person got up, he had no qualms about reclaiming it!  Did I mention Sam's favorite spot during the day was the back of the couch?  He could see the whole neighborhood and get a nap in the sun all at once.

Pleeeeeease will you feed me?

     Our second rescue (whom we have right now) is Charlie.  Charlie is a purebreed, owner surrender, meaning his owner contacted ABR and asked them to come take him away, in this case because the wife and kids weren't happy with the dog the hubby got and wanted a pug.  They had the gall to brag about it to the person who picked him up.  Makes me sooooo mad.  The two major issues we've had to deal with on Charlie were socialization and his hunting drive.  His first family kept him outside, on a chain, so he was very happy outside, with very little interest in people or affection.  Now he gets jealous if we kids are snuggling with Dad on the loveseat, that's his spot!  lol!  We noticed a definite change after our latest camping trip, our first with him.  After dark he would curl up in people's lap or on a camp chair around the fire and since then he has staked out Dad's lap as his, which is really funny because Charlie is on the long side for a Brittany, not really 'lap' size!  For his hunt drive we ended up taking him to a dog trainer and worked with her, getting him to focus on us and learning how to calm him down when he starts racing from window to window, 'hunting' squirrels and birds and moving leaves.  Initially it involved putting him in his crate when he wouldn't stop, but now a firm 'Down' and 'Stay' works very well.  He'll complain a bit at first but then he'll settle down for a nap.  Phew.
     I could write pages and pages and pages about our beloved Brittanies, their similarities and differences and quirks and adventures (and not even start on our gerbils or my favorite cats) but sufficed to say, writer or not, pets are very important, to love and to snuggle with, with no judgement or malice or ulterior motive (unless it's dinnertime).

Day 26 - Highwaymen and Trampolines

August 26 - The stranger at the crossroads

     It wasn't the first time Anne had felt eyes on her as she made her way to the bakers to retrieve their order of rolls for the dinner crowd.  Trevaine Road was the straightest shot out of town and
     Here the story tried getting away from me, adding more people than I wanted and changing the geography of the town.  The hashed out part is what I wrote before I redirected it.
the shortest route from her father's inn to the bakers was down Absthem, the road that ran the breadth of the town.  Where the two major pathways met was understandably busy and gossips enjoyed lingering to people watch , but the gaze Anne felt on the back of her neck was too intense for a mere gossip.  Surreptitiously she tried to catch a glimpse of whomever found her so fascinating but the milling masses shifted so quickly, no one staying in one place very long.
lined with inns and shoppes on one side, taverns and stables interspersed with forest on the other, bisected here and there by smaller roads leading to more homesteaded parts of town.  In other words, it was populated by those who had ... an interest in others. Forcing herself to merely glide, a lady doesn't run, she still reached Tevya's yeasty shop in record time.  If the kindly old man noticed her twitchy and rushed behavior he made no mention of it as she paid their weekly tab and scurried back into the street.  She was nearly home free, past the worst of the taverns when she heard a drunken hail from behind her.  It sounded like Jacob Fitch, a young man recently gone into business for himself and feeling every inch the man.
     Refusing to acknowledge him, despite the fact she was the only one on the street in earshot to hail, unless her mysterious watcher had shown himself.  That thought nearly made her turn and the hesitation hurried Jacob's steps until he was sweeping her up from behind.  Her basket of rolls flew down the road as she was swung by the waist in a dizzying circle, a shout dying as the air was knocked from her lungs.
     "Anne!  Sweet, dear Anne!  Ever so good to schee you!  Pretty Anne with the pretty green eyes.  Eyes like a cat," Jacob rambled setting her back down but keeping a firm hold in her.  "When are you going to marry me my little cat?  I've a business of my own now.  I can buy you pretty ribbons my little cat."
      She could smell the whiskey on his breath as nuzzled her hair  Enraged, Anne's spine straightened and she struggled against the blacksmith's vice like grip and iron arms.  "Jacob, let go of me.  I have no wish to marry you, you know that.  Let go!"
     "Don't wanna.  Wanna get married," Jacob said petulantly, his face still buried in her brown locks.  He sounded like the small child he had been when they first met.
     "If you're looking to marry, Anabelle has been making eyes at you," Anne replied, still struggling.
     "I don't want Anabelle," Jacob snarled, whirling Anne around to face him, his goofy, childlike attitude suddenly gone.  I want you, Anne Reeves!"
     "Jacob, you're drunk and you're hurting me," Anne said, stilling her movements and doing her best to speak placatingly despite the anger and fear burning through her veins.  The bright mild day suddenly turned dark and cold as Jacob gripped her tighter, hissing again in her face.
     "I am going to marry you Anne."
     At once his lips her pressed her hers and Anne went wild.  Flailing, she scratched and clawed what she could reach while in his painful grip.  She managed to wrest one fist free and raked her nails across his face.  Then, as suddenly as Jacob's attack  had begun, she was wrenched from his grip and a blade point was above his heart.
     "One more move," the blade owner spoke and the rest was a bit of a blur to Anne, who finally succumbed to her nerves a bit.  There were impressions of the blade biting Jacob's flesh, his fear and anger.  A brief scuffle and then it was only she and her rescuer.
     "Are you alright?"  She could scarcely believe that it was the same voice that had told Jacob off.  The tone was suddenly quiet and calming.

     This story wanted so badly to become an epic beyond what I have the time or abilities currently to write, which is why it has taken me so long to post it.  Wrestling a highwayman is a difficult task!
     This was inspired by "The Highwayman" as sung by Loreen McKennitt (from the poem by Alfred Noyes) and The Scarlet Pimpernel movie starring Jane Seymour, Anthony Andrews, and Ian McKellen(!).  Unfortunately when I wrote most of this I didn't have access to either one so it was written to "The Highwayman" by Celtic Thunder and the Trial of Lancelot CD by Heather Dale.
     Anne here has definite flavors of Belle a la Beauty and the Beast and Once Upon a Time.  The highwayman (who is the rescuer considering I don't think I made that clear) is part Scarlett Pimpernel, part rogue, part local boy gone big, and completely in love with Anne.  Interesting fact, I realized that this is not the first story I've written where a man/boy falls in love with a girl, watches her from afar and then swoops in to save her and the things dear to her.  In middle school we had to write a newspaper from the perspective of the people living in Roanoke before they vanished, and come up with a theory for why they left.  In a side story I started writing (which I abandoned when I realized it was going to turn into a romance novel), an Indian boy falls in love with a settler, meets her on the beach as White leave, gets wind that a rival tribe is going to raze Roanoke, and warns the settlement, saving her dear brother in the process.  I gave an edited version (they were only friends and it was much shorter) to my group.

     Anne succumbed to nerves because I have no idea what her swashbuckling hero says and I don't know how to write sword fight scenes.  What do you say beyond thrust and parry?  I can write cat fights (as in the actual felines) but not human fights.  That's what I get for roleplaying cats when I was younger.

Day 26 - The Trampoline as a Metaphor

     The author discusses her fear of jumping on a trampoline.  Perhaps it is because I am still very much a child, but I love the trampoline and don't find it scary at all.  Boring maybe, but not "impossible to feel safe on".
     She also discusses the freedom of just letting go on said plaything, in which she has a point.  If you don't care how you look it is a lot of fun.  Also, if you have something to do beyond just jumping in one place.
    As metaphors go it isn't the best one I've ever heard but is is a case of knowing your audience.  Thank you Ministry School for my public speaking and human interaction and teaching skills.

No One Mortal

A bit of bleak, emo poetry written back in high school, that matches my currently black, bleak mood.  I struggle with my self worth and have moments that are worse than others.  I am better able to recognize and handle these moods now than I was when I wrote this, but it does not lessen the reality.  Thankfully I also have the help referred to in the second half of the poem (after 'Can one really love me?').  I rely on the thought that even if I don't see myself in a positive light at the moment, Jehovah does and with his help I can break free from the darkness.

No one Mortal

I feel a weight,
heavy cumbersome,
throttling my life away
I feel a dullness
a cloud
hanging over all I do
Grey and bleak is the sky
Through the gloom
I see my family
is breaking away,
dissolving, eaten by acid
When I look to the source
I see nothing, but wait
into the pool of stinging liquid
I see . . . ME
The cause is my tears
NO! I am a stone, a rock,
Untouchable, Unaffected, Unscathed,
Unlovable
Oh how hated is a pebble,
an irritant in your shoe
something to be stepped on, discarded
thrown away, despised
Can one really love dirt?
Can one really love me?
No, no mortal has the patience
to find that the pebble
can make tools
is sharp
can make fire
is bright
has emotions
can carry your worries
can see your pain, your acid
you erode it
wear it to nothing
No one mortal sees how the
pebble is worried
pressured, kicked
tossed about
No one mortal
can support the
pebble in the current sweeping it
Only one can make it float
spark, sharp, be seen,
very few can love a pebble
but they can see
They are not mortal
Only one can lift
the weight
One immortal

Day 21 - Home in the spotlight

August 21 - The geography of home

Home is where the heart is.
Interesting that it doesn't say "the geography of a home".
I used to design a house I could live in with my family that would allow me to have cats.  It involved two seperate air systems, an airlock, and a laundry room between the cat and cat-free halves of the house.
Home is my family, a place to eat, a place to sleep, my pink blanket, and my dog. ♥  Which mean, when we are camping, home becomes our trailer or the tent I am sleeping in.  When I am housesitting, that house becomes my home after the third day, unless I've stayed there before, in which case it becomes home as soon as I've mostly unpacked, put away the food I brought, and greeted the animal I am caring for.

I cannot type today.  Spell becomes speel, is becomes id, would becomes woild..  -headdesk-

Day 21 - Finding the spotlight

The author discusses a guest speaker in her writing class who was "beautiful and forceful and self-assured" because she had given up "the fear of people getting mad at her".
I look forward to the day when I am calm and self-assured.
Evidently I can fool many but I always think of the illustration  my mother uses to describe my father.  He is like a duck on a pond; he appears calm and serene and knowledgeable, but under the surface he is frantically paddling.

I don't remember who took the pic, other wise I would credit.

I bees back!

Hey howdy hey!  I'm working on getting the back prompts typed up.  You can expect a batch tomorrow later today!  Enjoy!
Oh, and my trip was a lot of fun and a growing experience.  :)  It was my first build away from home (meaning I couldn't come home every night) but that was OK the first two nights because I stayed in our trailer. 
Mom and dad hauled our trailer up a couple of weeks ago for use by the brothers and sisters who also couldn't drive home each night.  When we were there one brother in the kitchen crew slept in my bunk, one slept on the folded down kitchen table and dad and I shared the master bed in our own sleeping bags.  Dad and I traded off on who was and wasn't sleeping all night.  And let me tell you what.  He SNORES.  Seriously, my parents and grandmother are epic snorers.  Usually I'm at the other end of the trailer, not next to either one of them.  Thankfully I brought caffeine otherwise I would not have functioned the next day.  It was also only through Jehovah that I was pleasant to the rest of the crew.  A nice morning person I am not.  Being surrounded by roosters when I woke up kinda helped though.
Friday we bent pipe and put on mud rings and drilled holes and I got to go up on a ladder and promptly lost all coordination as I had three guys watching my every move.  Stage fright!  On a ladder!  I survived and felt useful and it was good.
Saturday we ... basically did more of the same but the smoke from the fires, coupled with all of the sagebrush and dust started to cut off my breathing, prompting me to use our emergency inhaler, which gave me the jitters (worse than I remembered) which meant running around the work site wasn't going to be a good idea.  Thankfully I found a fellow card player so we played several rounds of speed until it was time to strip wire and run tails on the speakers, which is my favorite part of the build (even if I do have a habit of nicking the inner wires when stripping the bundle).  We were done around lunch time, at which point dad took me back to the trailer so I could pack my things, moved me to the trailer I would be staying at that night and dropped me back off at the work site while he went home.  This was a stressful time because I didn't know dad wasn't staying until Sunday when I agreed to work Personnel.  This meant I had to scramble to find a new place to stay.  Sleeping in a trailer with two men to whom I am not related (even if they are the-annoying-uncles-I-never-asked-for) and driving with them in their separate cars isn't exactly appropriate.  Thankfully I could bunk with some sisters from the kitchen crew, ride in with them at 5 am to be there for check in at 7 am.  Also thankfully, I had access to the sound trailer so I could stash all of my things there until it was time to go home Sunday night, as well as having a nice, quiet place I could retreat to after Personnel was done for the day and before going to help others.  I could also put on my makeup so I looked simi-awake when welcoming our brothers and sisters.  :D
Sunday morning it decided to rain and someone didn't cover the internet router so during one of the rushes three of us stood there with clipboards, hand writing each volunteer's information as rain soaked our tables.  Internet came back later but then Builder Assistant went down (Google and all that jazz worked), which meant we had plenty of time to watch the house down the hill smoke.  I never saw any flames, the firefighters responded very quickly and got it under control and no one was harmed.

Day 17 - You're not here but I love you still

August 17 - You woke up and found him gone

Rae rolled over to find the other side of the bed cold.  Her body heaved with a sigh before she rolled back over and began blindly patting though her side table.  Her hand soon landed on the slim object she was searching for.
"Fauna Feral to Nightwing.  Come in Nightwing."
"Rae, is everything alright?"  Nightwing's voice was clearly concerned as it came through the communicator.  "How's the baby?
"We're fine," Rae laughed, still raspy from sleeping.  "But I really want starfruit and pistachio ice cream."
There was a moment of silence then Dick spoke again.  "Together?"
His tone was concerned, confused, and a little disgusted.
"No," Rae rolled her eyes and Nightwing could hear it through the speaker.  "But I do want both.  Do you have a moment?  I could send the cats or bats to pick it up."
Dick surveyed the area.  "I'm near downtown.  Give me a minute and I can get the ice cream from Meijers and there is a little Chinese market for the starfruit."
"Thanks love," Rae purred,  "Fauna Feral out."
"Nightwing out."
As he flipped the comm shut he could feel Tim's eyes boring into him.
"You are so whipped."
Dick didn't respond as he flung himself off the building.  Anything for his wife and child.

I realize this prompt could have been taken very depressingly and the part of me that is a sucker for a tragedy and loves country music certainly thought about going there, but then I decided that we don't want to read a sad story today.  'He' is not gone because their relationship is over.  He is gone because of a duty and he will be back.
And I forgot when I was writing that I changed her name after she came back from hiding.  And discovered that while pregnant with Merlin and Niada she craved raw fish and rare steak.  Emily prompted 'nicer' cravings.

Day 17 - Love Thy Reader

"Readers deserve to be treated like your closest friends ..."
Well, at this point all of my readers are my closest friends.  Or good friends at least!  But I will keep this in mind should I become famous, or more widely read.  :)

Thank you and much love to Deanna, Caitlin, Chelsea, Brian and Luke!

Day 11 - Summer and Racing Hearts

August 11 - "Nevertheless it's still summer" (after Charles Wright)

It may rain in Oregon but it is still summer.
I may not have had a smore yet but it is still summer.

Since writing this I have had several smores.  It is officially summer!  :)

Day 11 - Racing Hearts and Churning Stomachs 

You don't have to like your own writing but others might.  You don't have to be calm and self assured.

Day 6 - Daring to view the top

August 6 -The view from the top

     Most of the vista was shiny these days, only a ring of pale fuzz surrounding the field of vision.  The scragglyness had once been full and brown but time and weather had greatly reduced it.

    What is it?  A bald man's head.

I read this prompt, looked up, and was staring at my great-uncle's balding head.  I kid you not.  I tried making it more mysterious, like I was describing a mountain top but it really didn't work.  Oh well, live and learn.

 Day 6 - Daring to Tell

"Daring to tell, to open up the subconscious.  Then having to hold self accountable for feelings."
I've thought about this and pondered this quite a bit.  Feelings are scary!  Very!!
This philosophy of sorts also works on pain.  If I don't make any sounds of acknowledge it and if I don't tell anyone the pain will fade/go away/not get much worse/I can bear it.  But as soon as I whine or tell someone it gets worse/harder to bear because I've acknowledged it and it takes over.  Give it an inch and it takes a mile.

The part in quotes is a paraphrase of the article/the gist of it.  I enjoyed this one.  And funnily enough, we had a discussion like this on pain while camping!